whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
