I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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