Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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