no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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