I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
