it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
