I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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