just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
