GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
