All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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