All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
