Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just gargled with NyQuil
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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