i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
