Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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