Sry I called you an 8
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
