Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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