North Korea, Best Korea!
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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