She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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