dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
