drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize