hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
