We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
