I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
