I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
