direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Is Oprah even human
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
