New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
