everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
