But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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