Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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