trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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