She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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