The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
