is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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