Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
