In the future we'll all be gay
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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