I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
