I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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