Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
