Sry I called you an 8
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
