God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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