Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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