My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
You can't special order awesome
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
