i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
