We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
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