I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize