i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
