You just made me feel so damn special
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Well I just put wine in my tea
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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