Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
