it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
