she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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