Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
