cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
