go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
