Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
