Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
