am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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