I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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