my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
