I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
How naked do you want me to be?
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