so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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