U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Everything about him screamed your future.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
