Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
