when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
