Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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