What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I need a burrito and a hug.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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