If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
