man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
