help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
jump out the window naked night went bad
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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